Breast feeding has been all over the media lately. Or maybe I'm just noticing it because I'm an avid breast feeder. I'm not quite sure but either way I've noticed that our society has a twisted and perverted view of breast feeding. Come to think of it, North Americans have a perverted view of breasts period. When the Pope is a supporter! But that's not good enough for us is it?!
I'll start by saying, feeding one's child is not perverse. It's not sexual by any stretch of the imagination and yet somehow you are made to feel like a complete perv for feeding your hungry baby in public. Not all the time and not everywhere but as I found out today, the population in some spots in our beautiful city is dead set against it. Truthfully I'd always heard about people's objections through others, but I'd never actually seen it until today. This could likely be due to my being oblivious or perhaps my tendency to hang in areas and amongst people in support of breast feeding. Today however, I realized I'm not in Kansas anymore.
After a week of some hardcore polar bear friendly temperatures, we had a lovely day that felt like spring...by Canadian standards at least. The rest of the world would probably still see it as sh*t cold. So being the hibernator that I am, why I live in Canada is a whole other ball of wax, I decided it was time for Cyrus and mommy to hit the town. So we hit the aquarium. On our way back, the little man was hungry so I sat down at union station, pulled out my feeding cover and proceeded to feed the little man. That's when I saw it. At least 90% of the people walking by me were giving me stink eye. Honestly you'd think I was doing something ungodly where all I was doing was feeding my child. Come to think of it there used to be a crazy homeless dude that would wank his junk on College street that got less stink eye than I did. He'll I think he way have gotten some air high fives, for obvious reasons, too! In other words, my act of feeding my 5 month old is more offensive than Mr wanky doodle waving and abusing his junk in public! Really?! I even had a mother pull her son away and give me the look of "how dare you!" I guess that's how we manage to create a population of people with a twisted sense of right and wrong" seriously people get over it!!! The sad part is I was fully covered, not that it should matter, but it was the sheer thought of me baring a boob that offended at least 50-60 people in a very short time span. Hell I think Mr Wankovic got more praise for his junk show than I did for providing Cyrus with nutrients. When did we decide this is a sexual act of any sort? Why are we as a society so damn twisted that we have managed to chastise the most natural form of feeding for a child? Why don't we reserve the stink eye for when we're feeding our young kids pop (soda for my American friends) and candy and McDonalds? When we allow our 12 year old to dress up like $2 hookers with pounds of makeup and clothes that are much too revealing? Why is it that we celebrate things like child pageants as being normal and a breast feeding mother as the pervert? What happened to us to make us so delusional? What's wrong with that picture?! EVERYTHING is wrong with that picture!
My dear friends and readers I ask you to please support all the mothers you know regardless of whether they are Breast feeding or bottle feeding. We are all trying to do the same here which is help our monkeys grow. It's not a perverse act regardless of its source. Let's take a step towards acceptance for if this negative view continues breast feeding mothers may have to do as Mr Wanker did to detract negative attention and warrant some high fives. Sad that this is a battle of Mother vs Sir Wanksalot to see who the real perv is.
We've created this blog to keep our friends and family in the loop with the good times to be had at 18 Emerson. We ourselves are always so curious to find out what's happening in other people's houses (oh don't gimme that look you know you are too!) that we figured what the heck, come on in everyone! No hard hats required.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Parenting: a prison sentence?
Oh the crazy road that is parenthood. Life will never be the same. Weekends no longer exist. You'll never be sure of anything again. Over the years many of you have laughed at us and told blatantly told us that we don't get it. Truthfully, we laughed at you and thought oh we get it. Hey what do you know, you were right. Ha! Val and I always swore we'd be the take Charge parents that didn't let our kids run things. It worked for a while! We'd still do our thing and Cyrus would sleep in his chair wherever. We thought hell this is EASY! Then Cyrus started becoming more aware of things and wanted to be entertained all the time and so started the true road to being parents.
I'm not writing this to scare any non parents. In fact I had a conversation with a friend today to whom this seems like a horrible prison sentence. "You can't go out! No time to yourself!!" While I wont't deny the need sometimes for some more "me time" or "us time" I will also says this, despite every parent's horror stories of sleep deprivation, getting pooped on, vomited on, not being able to pee alone, have a warm meal or have an adult conversation with your spouse etc. I can promise you we all feel having kids was the greatest thing we've accomplished and no success will even come close to feeling as satisfying. Funny thing about you time and partying is that you get over it after a while. There comes a time that it won't be as enjoyable anymore and you want more. You'll want to pass on your insanity and that's where the kids come in. Personally when I got pregnant and we had Cyrus, We felt complete. Like a part of our family puzzle that was missing was finally in place. One thing I'll say to those who find this parenting thing terrifying is that you have to be ready and to be ready there in mind that there are no timelines. While some may be ready at 20, others take longer...he'll some may never get there but if you're not a 100% ready for your life to change forever, don't do it. You have lots of time, enjoy every second of life in all forms. That's what it's all about. This is also why we waited till our 30's to have kids because we wanted to go on crazy vacations, party like Rock stars, drink our faces off n do it until we didn't want to do it anymore. But when you take that plunge because you really want it, that moment when you hold your child for the first time will be the most beautiful and mind blowing experience of your life. You'll cherish it for ever and there will never be a night out, a sap day, safari or sky diving adventure raft will ever replicate that high for you. The moment they smile at you, roll over, clap their hands or he'll just acknowledge your existence will be the most exquisite moment of your life and nothing else will matter.
As I sit watching him bounce around in his little excersaucer, speaking a language at this point only he understands but clearly whatever he's saying us super important judging by his expression, I can't think of anything else that would be more awesome than just this. Watching my son grow, learn and discover. Trust me parenting is no prison sentence. You will get vomited on, pooped on, screamed at, peed on and you'll adore it all. You can't tell me you'd adore it if someone at a club did that shit ;)
I'm not writing this to scare any non parents. In fact I had a conversation with a friend today to whom this seems like a horrible prison sentence. "You can't go out! No time to yourself!!" While I wont't deny the need sometimes for some more "me time" or "us time" I will also says this, despite every parent's horror stories of sleep deprivation, getting pooped on, vomited on, not being able to pee alone, have a warm meal or have an adult conversation with your spouse etc. I can promise you we all feel having kids was the greatest thing we've accomplished and no success will even come close to feeling as satisfying. Funny thing about you time and partying is that you get over it after a while. There comes a time that it won't be as enjoyable anymore and you want more. You'll want to pass on your insanity and that's where the kids come in. Personally when I got pregnant and we had Cyrus, We felt complete. Like a part of our family puzzle that was missing was finally in place. One thing I'll say to those who find this parenting thing terrifying is that you have to be ready and to be ready there in mind that there are no timelines. While some may be ready at 20, others take longer...he'll some may never get there but if you're not a 100% ready for your life to change forever, don't do it. You have lots of time, enjoy every second of life in all forms. That's what it's all about. This is also why we waited till our 30's to have kids because we wanted to go on crazy vacations, party like Rock stars, drink our faces off n do it until we didn't want to do it anymore. But when you take that plunge because you really want it, that moment when you hold your child for the first time will be the most beautiful and mind blowing experience of your life. You'll cherish it for ever and there will never be a night out, a sap day, safari or sky diving adventure raft will ever replicate that high for you. The moment they smile at you, roll over, clap their hands or he'll just acknowledge your existence will be the most exquisite moment of your life and nothing else will matter.
As I sit watching him bounce around in his little excersaucer, speaking a language at this point only he understands but clearly whatever he's saying us super important judging by his expression, I can't think of anything else that would be more awesome than just this. Watching my son grow, learn and discover. Trust me parenting is no prison sentence. You will get vomited on, pooped on, screamed at, peed on and you'll adore it all. You can't tell me you'd adore it if someone at a club did that shit ;)
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Too Crunchy to Cry It Out
When I was a little girl, my mom came home with one of those baby dolls that had a tape that made them cry or laugh depending on which side of the tape you had on. I remember falling in love with that doll right away. My mom was a bit shocked to be truthful because as a general rule of thumb I wasn't the doll loving kinda girl. I was a Tom boy from a very young age, growing up in a country in the midst of an epic war. My toy collection mostly consisted of toy guns, trucks swords etc. That doll, however was different for some reason. It changed me. I quickly decided I would have the laughter on all the time because when the doll cried it made me really sad. I swear, It broke my heart. I just couldn't bear to hear that cry.
Fast forward nearly 30 years, I'm a mother to an awesome little boy and when he cries, it takes me back. It breaks my heart and I want to put his laughter side of the tape on when I can. Unfortunately crying seems to go hand in hand with sleep "training" which is where we're at right now. Being the nerdy trainer that I am, I like to learn everything there is to know about a task before I take that knowledge, mix it up, make it my own and execute. I started reading, asking questions and just taking in all this "data" to learn everything about all methods of sleep coaching out there. The most common advice and literature available is to let him cry it out. Some say stay in the room and do it others say close the door and do it but either way the best way to do it, most say, is Cry It Out. So That's how I started. And it took me a split second to decide it's not for me. I actually went out of my comfort zone and tried it the full day but it just isn't for me. I'm not saying it doesn't work; I know many parents that have done this successfully and they have perfectly healthy children who are well balanced and do not hate them by any means so it obviously works. It's just not for me. It took me back to my little doll and I felt that anxiety again and I just am not okay with it. It's me, not the method. So realizing and accepting this I remembered the best piece of parenting advice we got from some friends and family members and that was "Do what works for you regardless of what everyone tells you you SHOULD do". So I went back to the drawing board to see of there's a mother way. At this point I should mention I was raised by parents with borderline hippie ideologies so needless to say they think I'm nuts for even trying but that's another story. Bottom line is I was not exposed to sleep coaching/ training. I slept in my own room, I didn't co sleep with my parents, I grew up without dependency issues in fact I'm more of a hermit than anything. I eventually learned to sleep and nap and all in all I grew up fine. So there is another way. I'm not the only one who was raised this way. I do require more structure though so I decided I have to find my own balance. What is that balance? I don't know yet. I guess Val and I have to figure out what really works best in our life for both of us but bottom line is I'm just too damn crunchy to Cry It Out. I believe in osteopaths and naturopaths. I breast feed in public. I wear my baby boy every chance I get. I spend a crap load of time singing some Kumbaya shit around the camp fire. I use organic non toxic products that are mostly local. I eat humane meat and avoid products that aren't cruelty free. I bike to work, I walk where I can, I do Yoga, I eat off my garden (Val's the gardener I forget to water things) in the summer and talk about my freaking feelings. Don't get me wrong I'm not fully crunchy, I don't co sleep, I won't be breast feeding when he's 10, I still drive where I need to, I'm not vegan, PETA has told me to honk on Bobo (no joke they really did) and I have fancy appliances. All I'm saying is I'm just too crunchy to cry it out. So I continue with my sleep coaching (notice the softer use of words) journey and though truthfully it scares and intimidates me a bit, it shall get done.
Before becoming a mother I did a lot of chirping. "I won't let kids change my life" "I'll still..." "I will put them on such n such schedule" so on and so forth...I have now placed all those statements in a bowl with my crunchy ass granola and I'm eating them with my organic non dairy milk alternative.
Fast forward nearly 30 years, I'm a mother to an awesome little boy and when he cries, it takes me back. It breaks my heart and I want to put his laughter side of the tape on when I can. Unfortunately crying seems to go hand in hand with sleep "training" which is where we're at right now. Being the nerdy trainer that I am, I like to learn everything there is to know about a task before I take that knowledge, mix it up, make it my own and execute. I started reading, asking questions and just taking in all this "data" to learn everything about all methods of sleep coaching out there. The most common advice and literature available is to let him cry it out. Some say stay in the room and do it others say close the door and do it but either way the best way to do it, most say, is Cry It Out. So That's how I started. And it took me a split second to decide it's not for me. I actually went out of my comfort zone and tried it the full day but it just isn't for me. I'm not saying it doesn't work; I know many parents that have done this successfully and they have perfectly healthy children who are well balanced and do not hate them by any means so it obviously works. It's just not for me. It took me back to my little doll and I felt that anxiety again and I just am not okay with it. It's me, not the method. So realizing and accepting this I remembered the best piece of parenting advice we got from some friends and family members and that was "Do what works for you regardless of what everyone tells you you SHOULD do". So I went back to the drawing board to see of there's a mother way. At this point I should mention I was raised by parents with borderline hippie ideologies so needless to say they think I'm nuts for even trying but that's another story. Bottom line is I was not exposed to sleep coaching/ training. I slept in my own room, I didn't co sleep with my parents, I grew up without dependency issues in fact I'm more of a hermit than anything. I eventually learned to sleep and nap and all in all I grew up fine. So there is another way. I'm not the only one who was raised this way. I do require more structure though so I decided I have to find my own balance. What is that balance? I don't know yet. I guess Val and I have to figure out what really works best in our life for both of us but bottom line is I'm just too damn crunchy to Cry It Out. I believe in osteopaths and naturopaths. I breast feed in public. I wear my baby boy every chance I get. I spend a crap load of time singing some Kumbaya shit around the camp fire. I use organic non toxic products that are mostly local. I eat humane meat and avoid products that aren't cruelty free. I bike to work, I walk where I can, I do Yoga, I eat off my garden (Val's the gardener I forget to water things) in the summer and talk about my freaking feelings. Don't get me wrong I'm not fully crunchy, I don't co sleep, I won't be breast feeding when he's 10, I still drive where I need to, I'm not vegan, PETA has told me to honk on Bobo (no joke they really did) and I have fancy appliances. All I'm saying is I'm just too crunchy to cry it out. So I continue with my sleep coaching (notice the softer use of words) journey and though truthfully it scares and intimidates me a bit, it shall get done.
Before becoming a mother I did a lot of chirping. "I won't let kids change my life" "I'll still..." "I will put them on such n such schedule" so on and so forth...I have now placed all those statements in a bowl with my crunchy ass granola and I'm eating them with my organic non dairy milk alternative.
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