Dear Santa, Thank you for a perfect Christmas

I found myself crying as I held Cyrus in the kitchen this morning. Now you may be wondering how that equates to a perfect Christmas. I'm about to tell you.

Throughout the years I've had my share of fun Christmases, sad Christmases, boring Christmases and so on. The best Christmases I had were when I was a kid for the most part. Surrounded by family, I remember my grandparents dancing in the living room in front of the Christmas tree as I tried to get in between them and participate in the dance. I also remember the Christmas I found out Santa didn't exist. I was probably around 5 years old. I waited up as long as I could for Santa to come and bring my presents but I finally fell asleep and woke up the next morning excited as can be to open my presents. I opened a pair of shoes, even then my obsession with shoes was in full bloom, only to realize that Santa got my shoe size wrong. Most kids would have sulked and been sad but not me. I went postal. I literally lost it in a nearly unholy way. If poor Santa actually existed he would have put me on the naughty list for the rest of my life after the hour of ape shit name calling I spent that Christmas morning. My parents, being the guilty parties, were stunned not sure what to think while feeling guilty at the same time. Later that day I caught my dad trying to sneak out and exchange my shoes and give Santa credit. That's when I learned Santa didn't exist and from that moment on, I milked it. Any who, back to why I was shedding tears this morning.

Over the years Christmas became stressful due to the need to get everyone the perfect gift. So much so that Val and I decided a few years back to no longer get each other gifts. Instead we just buy stuff throughout the year that we want. Makes it a heck of a lot less stressful. Regardless Christmas hasn't really had the same flare and excitement that it used to when I was a kid. This year was a bit different because we can now start new traditions and create that excitement for Cyrus. We debated so much about how to make it special for him. In the end we took him to see Santa, he cried like hell, just got together with the family and spent a fabulous night together eating, listening to Christmas tunes and watching the kids reactions as they opened some presents. It was Christmas again except this time we got to be on the parents side and it was exciting again. Now fast forward to the tears...

We woke up this morning made breakfast and Val and his mom cleaned up I stood there with Cyrus in my arms swaying to the sweet sounds of Christmas kissing his chubby little cheeks. It suddenly dawned on me that I've never had a Christmas this perfect. I finally got the perfect present and it fit perfectly in my arms. This sweet little monkey that was holding on to me as we danced around the kitchen together. He gave me kisses back which are him opening his mouth wide, slobbering drool all over my cheek which I just adore and smiling in return for my appreciation of these sweet baby kisses. This cute little Munster who insists on being a part of our conversations by screaming out vowels and consonants loudly in no particular order and giggling at his owned shared wisdom. Here was the prefect gift. I stood there tears streaming down my face feeling so overwhelmed as I looked around and saw myself surrounded by my sweet husband, our two adorable dogs and this perfect little man in my arms. I felt complete. It feels like I'm getting to live life all over again and recreate all the beautiful parts that I've appreciated over the years and this time I get to see it from a different perspective. This time I get to see the wonder and excitement through my son's eyes. I get to see his beautiful little face as he experiences  all these firsts and it's perfect.

So for what it's worth:

Dear Santa,
I'm sorry for calling you all those nasty names so many years ago. I forgive you for getting my shoe size wrong. Thank you for keeping me on your good list and giving me the perfect Christmas present. You made Christmas awesome again.

Love,
Tash